


" you can always talk to me. "

by Ive_never_read_fluff



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27079321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ive_never_read_fluff/pseuds/Ive_never_read_fluff
Summary: Virgil is sick of people lying to him.He'd be fine if they could just come out and say they won't be there for him, it's fine, he knows he doesn't deserve it anyway.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	" you can always talk to me. "

_" you can always talk to me. "_

Of course, Virgil knew that wasn't true.

It wouldn't be true one day. 

They'd get fed up with his bullshit soon enough.

They'd ignore him soon enough.

They'd hate him soon enough.

He knew this.

So, why did it hurt so fucking much when it actually happened?

It really wasn't a surprise.. it still really hurt.

It just confirmed that he doesn't matter, he never will, he's such a fucking burden, can't he just shut up, why does he need to talk to often, why does he seem to need so much fucking support, what he's dealing with isn't even that bad, so many people have it so much more fucking worse-

Maybe because of all of anxious thoughts he's had like that has turned out not as bad as he thought.

Maybe it's just because of him.

Virgil always knew he could be massively annoying.

He knew, he did.

He was told it all the time, he told himself it all the time. 

Of course he is. 

Still.. getting it so clearly layed out for him by one of his closest friends.. 

Really, really hurt him.

Yeah, they're probably dealing with their own things, anyway.

_~~-They would always talk to him about their problems. Why, why couldn't Virgil do the same?-~~ _

Plus, even if they weren't, Virgil could be overbearing and overdramatic as hell.

He knew.

Why does it hurt if he knew? 

One day, he texted his friend while he was in the depths of a depressive episode. 

They didn't respond. 

The texts were read.

It's fine, maybe they're just busy.

Maybe they don't know how to respond.

Maybe they just got sick of him.

Maybe they want him to do it.

Maybe they fucking hate him.

Throughout serval more depression/ middle of an anxiety attack texts, Virgil finally took the fucking hint and fucked off. 

They didn't care about him anymore.

They never probably did.

It's fine. 

That's fine. 

Virgil's fine.

Realizing that, that the one person he told everything to, the person who knows the things he could barely admit to himself, the person who he trusted his life with, the person that's been with him since kindergarten, doesn't care about him was definitely one hell of a trip.

It led Virgil to his.. third.. suicide attempt. 

He's just overdramatic like that.

God, it's no surprise that they couldn't put up with him anymore.

What a fucking pathetic loser.

He's so damn insufferable.

He must be.

What did he do to get his closest friend to hate him? 

Actually, now that he's thinking about it.. exist, probably.

It was getting boring though, and Virgil didn't blame them for hating him.

Most of their conversations were one of them venting to the other. 

His vents got nothing more than an 'oof' or 'same lol'. 

Which, was fine. 

Is fine.

It just.. hurt him.. a little bit.

And now there's more people in his life, and now he needs more help and support and love than ever.

Fourth suicide attempts must do that to you.

Anyway, when they say "you can always talk to me" or something, it just- 

No, no they won't. 

They'll get sick of him soon enough.

They'll get bored and annoyed with him.

They'll hate him, too. 

He doesn't think he could cope with that again.

He knows he couldn't cope with that again.

He could barely do it once.

He can't seem to cope with anything these days, though, so I guess it's not that surprising.

Fuck, he's so weak.

Fuck.

**Author's Note:**

> HEY OK LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I DO NOT LOOK DOWN UPON PEOPLE WHO STOP TALKING TO A TOXIC PERSON, OR A PERSON WHO NEEDS HELP BECAUSE THEY THEMSELVES NEE HELP. IF YOU ARE NOT EMOTIONALLY ABLE TO SUPPORT SOMEONE, IT IS COMPLETELY FINE. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON.
> 
> (it just scarred me ajvsakcskasvaksv)


End file.
